COMPROMISING ON A DATE
A good relationship means you need to learn how to lower your guns and agree on what your partner may want, instead of what you want. Compromise does not mean badgering your date until you reach an agreement that appeals to you – sometimes, the outcome can be downright disagreeable for you. But that's what relationships are all about. Don't forget that it takes two people in order to have one; so two minds rarely want the exact same thing all the time. Find ways to get what both parties want, even if the timing doesn't exactly match up. These rules can apply to dating as well, even before you start to look for someone! There are a few things you might need to think about before you start clicking on singles listings. It might be tricky to change your mind about something, but you need to be able to flow a little bit in order to be happy in the long run. How can you do it? Here are a few ways to start you off.
- Image. Someone's looks are very important when it comes to your dating happiness, so that is very understandable. Humans like other humans who match some kind of inner perfect image, and it's only natural to seek that perfect person out and never be satisfied until you find it. You might have an idea in your head of what the perfect mate looks like – hey, everyone does. However, you might need to alter that image slightly based on the people you're meeting. If you meet someone who fits your ideal inner image perfectly except for one tiny detail, well then you'll need to be able to compromise your image a little bit, or you'll never find the right date. Be flexible and learn to love the little flaws! Nobody in this world is perfect, and you need to be able to accept that. Start off by looking at your own flaws and appreciate them for what they are. Flaws add a lot of character, so you are essentially what's wrong with you, deep down. It's human nature to want to find something that's perfect, but it's also human nature to learn to love things that might not fit the mold of exactly what you were expecting. Try to go on as many dates as you can, as long as it's financial viable. Don't say no to a date just because she might look a little different in her picture than you want out of a date. You have to be able to lower your expectations a little bit. Especially if you're a long way down the dating road with little to no success. It won't hurt you to try it, so go ahead and try it.
- What are you expecting to happen on a date? You aren't going to be able to be successful on every single date. You need to be able to compromise on these expectations, or you're going to run out of dating steam very early on. It might take a long time and many dates before you're successful and meet someone you really click with, so remember that the next time you get your hopes up and it bombs. When you enter a date knowing that this might or might not all go according to expectations, then there's a better chance you'll be happier with the outcome in the long run. Maybe you'll gain a friend instead of a real date? A date can end any number of ways; so try not to beat yourself up if it doesn't end in a perfect relationship every single time. Dating is all about reaching out your feelers and seeing what the climate is like out there. Take a few minutes to sit back and think about what your own personal expectations are. Do they involve wedding bells within the first month? You should probably start thinking a bit more realistically.
- Once a relationship happens, how much say does each party have? Keep in mind that a relationship can go any number of ways and be built on many different kinds of structures, so you don't want the foundation to be one-sided or it'll all topple over one day. Both people in a relationship need to be able to have the power and strength to speak their mind, and have someone to listen to them. Sometimes you'll hear about a man or woman who's absolutely dominated by their spouse. This cannot be allowed to happen, so try to keep a clear mind and remember that your mate is a human being as well. It's the reason you were attracted to them and began dating in the first place, isn't it? If they end up being someone who can be walked all over, it might be time to rethink the structure of your relationship, or even think about calling it quits.
- Are you blowing the little things out of proportion? Compromise means ignoring the little things about your partner that might stress you out or make you angry. Is there a certain way they laugh that you hate? Well that sort of thing can't hurt you or isn't affecting you at all; so don't sweat the little things. Just like how you have to take a look at yourself and try to enjoy the little flaws, you need to be able to look at your mate and enjoy their little flaws as well, even if it seems annoying to you. Sometimes it will be easy, because you love them, and other times this will seem downright impossible. Try taking ten minutes to yourself to cool down and rethink your relationship from day one.
- What do you expect to happen with the relationship? Sure, you both agree that you like each other, but maybe you have two very different or even opposing ideas on what the end goal is. Maybe you want kids, but they find them detestable. Maybe you're only visiting them for sex, and they want to start a future. Everyone in the world is a little different and might be dating for a completely different reason. Find out what that reason is ahead of time, and if you're not a huge fan of the answer, see if there's anything you can do about your own wants and needs to fit in with theirs. After all, life is too short to take too much time deciding what you want in the end. Maybe your future girlfriend or boyfriend's idea would work better for you than what you had already decided? There's only one way to find out, so don't be afraid sometimes to take the plunge. With a little compromise, you might find that both of you are ending up getting what you want anyway.
Again, it's important to stress the fact that it's very, very important that both parties in a relationship are able to have a little bit of input to how the relationship is going to end up. Not to say that you have to be completely disagreeable whenever your date suggests something, just keep in mind that it might be a good idea to suggest a few things. Your own opinions are a very powerful tool in a relationship, and you might just find that the bond between the two of you will grow even stronger because of it. So the next time your special someone suggests something you might not like, tell him or her how you feel. They might be more open to suggestion than you previously thought. Adversely, keep an open ear to your girlfriend or boyfriend the next time they try to suggest any alternatives. If you don't care enough to hear it, then you don't care enough about them as a person. Why stay with someone that you don't respect enough to hear out whenever they have an idea? Relationships can't just be physical; they are a marriage of minds as well as bodies. Smarten up and pay attention to them, or you just might find yourself single again, reading more dating tip articles! Good luck out there, and try to use a little common sense. A good way to see where you're at in terms of dating stamina is to check out the Book of Sex, http://www.fbookofsex.com. It's fun and easy, so give it a shot!
COMRPOMISING ON A DATE | MORE TIPS COMING SOON!